I’m a little pissed off right now, I know what you’re thinking readers:
“The Greek is just a loud mouth, always ranting, son of a bitch who is ALWAYS pissed off.”
Well that may be true, but unfortunately this time, I have very just cause to be angry. It’s because the Hollywood excs are killing me and I’m going to show you why they aren’t just killing me, they are killing all of you 4th Coasters, as well as everyone else in AMERICA! This blog will be short and sweet but it comes with homework. If you haven’t watched the following two trailers….. please take a moment to do so now…… I can wait….
now watch Trailer B
If you haven’t watched Daredevil on Netflix, you should do yourself a favor and catch up on Season 1 before Season 2 comes out. The show is great… the writing is fantastic, as well as the direction, and story arc’s are legit. I’m a film and TV nerd, what can I say. But seriously, even if you aren’t into the whole MARVEL take over Hollywood, check out Daredevil because it’s not a superhero show it’s just a good show that happens to have a superhero as its main character…. ya dig?
Now lets talk about Trailer A Batman vs Superman. This is a FUCKING MASSIVE summer blockbuster. This movie is everywhere, this trailer came out a week ago… already has 17m views. And that trailer IS A PIECE OF TRASH, it showed the ENTIRE god-damn plot…… Does the movie look sweet??? Of course… but Hollywood, West Coast.. step your shit up…. please. The trailer should have ended at the one 1:18, the convo between Bruce the bro billionaire superhero and Clark Kent with a creepy energetic Lex Luthor talking and doing his thing. YOU KNOW WHY THE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED THERE?????
IT’S CALLED BUILDING SUSPENSE PEOPLE!!!!!
They could have let the trailer build and showed more footage of them fighting but this piece of trash trailer is 3 GOD DAMN MINUTES LONG! I was pissed with Zach Synder got this movie cause I knew he would fuck it up, and he did. He put out three trailers out there that basically tell you what the whole move.
Now look at the Trailer B, they don’t even show new footage from the new season until 1:37 mark. After that, they show just a creepy image of a Skull, which is the symbol for the Punisher, and they show the Punisher at the very end and only the back of his fucking head……. Are you kidding me!!!!! Talk about blue balls!!! To all the Laydees who are reading this, think about how fun it is to get your man all hot and ready for game-time, and then you just go take a shower just to fuck with him. You can see us men squirm with physical pain as the blue balls set in, which only makes us want you more…
Same rule applies to making trailers….. LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE, NOT KNOWING THE WHOLE MOVIE.
Back to Trailer A, If you can’t piece the whole movie together from that single final trailer, A you are a dummy, or B you’re someone who didn’t grow up with comics. I’m going to predict the whole fucking movie, so if you don’t want me to spoil what has already been spoiled, stop reading NOW!!!!!!
Batman is darker in this movie, because the new Jared Leto Joker killed Robin…. Quick side bar, Jared Leto is a great casting call by the way, way to not f**k that up Hollywood. So anyway the two forces meet, you see the political ramifications of Superman’s existence with the government. Superman says he is good but obviously the Bat has doubts of Superman’s existence. Now I thought that the movie would hold true to the comics, and that Bruce would end up being the only man alive that can beat Superman, but in the battle he sees that Superman is actually good and they become BFFs blah blah blah. So if went into the movie with the trailer ending at 1:08 or even 1:45 I would be surprised when I find out that, based on the trailer, clearly Superman is kicking Batman’s ass. Lex Luthor whips out old dead villian from first Superman movie and BOOM you got Darkseid. Ok…. Thanks for running that twist. And also thank you for showing me that in the big climatic battle, Wonder Woman’s fine ass will be showing up just in the knick of time, and “HOORAY ALL THREE TEAM UP, JUSTICE LEAGUE IS BORN AND THEY ALL BECOME BFFFFFFFFFFFs” he said with heavy sarcasm.
Seriously I don’t even know why I’m going to give Zach Snyder my money, when I already know the plot, might as well just wait four weeks and torrent the sucker. Seriously Hollywood, get good for me one time. If you can’t get good, then take it from my man Ari Gold and GTFO If you want to hear the full Greek rant and rave in podcast format and listen my full take on the subject, and why I’m so qualified as a film critic listen in to our first 4th Coast Chronicles – Pop Culture Teaser Pod.
Thanks for making us a part of your day & until next time…..
Take it easy out there 4th Coasters,